Continuing on from
mt last post, E3 always has as much good, as it does bad and as a
result gives me something to compl-I mean, judge. So, we begin with
the games that have so far brought me to near tears. We can think of
it as a nice counter-balance to the endless gushing I gave all the
other games!
Sad
monkey is REALLY sad now.
Release
Date: N/A
Publisher:
Microsoft Studios
Developer:
Double Helix Games
I
loved the Killer Instinct games growing up. I loved them like a
brother. Next to Street Fighter and Mortal Kombat, these games were
instrumental in shaping my love of gaming. So when they finally
announced one for the XboxOne, I thought that would be amazing. If
there were ever a time to bring back this classic franchise it would
definitely be...now? That's interesting, Rare isn't making it. Well,
in that case I'm sure they got a studio that's experienced in making
high quality...so you got the guys behind the Green Lantern and
Battleship tie-in games. THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU?!! I swear to
god, Microsoft, how is that a good idea?!
I'm
pretty sure you could've done better than FUCKING this!!
Ugh...Well,
no use changing it now. Though there are quite a few rumors going
around about it being a free-to-play where characters must be bought,
I feel that more information must be given before I decide if
disappointment is just. As for Rare, well...they've made worse
decisions.
Why
Rare? Why?
NEXT:
Release
Date: November 2013
Publisher:
Microsoft Studios
Developer:
Crytek
First
announced as an Xbox 360-exclusive with Kinect support, Ryse was
looking to be an intriguing title, especially when compared to the
majority of the casual-fare that the rest of the peripheral was prone
to getting. In some ways, it even looked like a worthy competitor to
the Wii's own hardcore, first-person hack-n-slash, Red Steel 2.
This
game fucking rocks!!!
So naturally, I was surprised when I hadn't heard
anything about it in over two years in regards to its release.
Imagine my surprise when it shows up again, only to be covered in
quick-time events! Any excitement that may have been showcased by the
original video where it was you in first-person facing off against
the Roman army is gone and instead replaced with this:
It's hideous!!!!
Now, this has worked before. Asura's Wrath and Heavy
Rain were both filled to the brim with quicktime events but made up
for it by being able to fail. In this case, they're only here to give
a false feeling of dominance to the player as he effortlessly sits
back and watches his onscreen avatar mow down his enemies while the
big FUCKING X COMES ON SCREEN! It makes me wonder if developers have
really started to believe that their audience is a bunch of twelve
year old boys.
So hardcore...
Which reminds me of:
Release Date: November 2013
Publisher:
Microsoft Studios
Developer: Capcom
Vancouver
I haven't actually
played any of the previous Dead Rising games, so my knowledge of the
franchise is highly limited. That doesn't mean they haven't held my
interest, however. The idea of murdering tons of zombies while
exploring an overrun mall is of course barrels of fun. So when I
heard that Dead Rising 3 was in development for next-gen consoles, I
was thrilled! Then I saw it. Oh god, I saw it.
My
look when I saw the game
My
only question was why? Why the hell did you turn a series that takes
the pure schadenfreude of mass killings and turn it into an “edgy”
brown and gritty action game with a gloomy protagonist and a
wangst-filled atmosphere? Oh, it was done to appeal to Call of Duty
fans. While I understand that it had been done as a means to appeal
to a wider audience, this is definitely not the way to go. On the
contrary, you're at risk of alienating fans of previous games in the
franchise and in some cases end up losing out to this so-called “new
audience” that wasn't even interested in your game in the first
place!
Reference
Point A
I
know that I can't change a developer's plans to heavily alter a
franchise but at the very least you could remember what your fans
liked.
Release
Date: Nov. 5, 2013
Publisher:
Activision
Developer:
Infinity Ward
Alright,
alright, before I begin let me rephrase that I don't hate Call of
Duty, just Activision. Now then, my first question is, why? The Call
of Duty franchise has had a yearly release beginning in 2007 with the
release of Modern Warfare and now Ghosts is announced claiming a
constant running speed at 60 fps, dynamic AI, and high-quality
graphical detail as the newest things it brings to the table. That
would be all fine and dandy if other games hadn't already been doing
this for the past several years, especially in terms of the PC gaming
crowd.
Next
year, we're adding two new breeds along with 20 more maps!
Release
Date: December 2013
Publisher:
Nintendo
Developer:
Nintendo EAD Tokyo
I'm
not even going to bother coming up with anything qitty this time.
Just fucking stop it, Nintendo. While I may have complained about
Call of Duty doing the same thing every year and praised DKCTF for
not changing much, at the very least the situations are different. At
the very least the levels and aesthetics look different. When I saw
the first level here, I had no idea that this was a new game. It
looks almost exactly the same as Super Mario 3D Land. Not only that,
but it seems the best they could do in terms of new was cat suits.
Cat
suits?! FUCKING REALLY!?
I
like cats as much as the next guy but in all honesty, what happened?
There was a point where every single new Mario game would evolve off
of the aesthetics and innovations of the previous titles. Here, it
seems like Nintendo just decided to go ahead and throw in the towel.
It seems like the Galaxy games were the franchise peaking and now all
they can do is wallow and wait for inspiration to strike. I hope that
one day another Mario title like Galaxy will be released, but until
then, I guess we'll just have to feast on Nintendo's run off.
No new ideas make bear cry.
So
there you have it, my top and bottom 5 of E3. If you didn't see your
favorite game on here it could be for any number of reasons, either I
didn't care enough or I didn't see enough of it to truly care about
it. In any sense, I shall leave you until next week, when I return
with another review to showcase!
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